Hey moms, I’m going to talk to you specifically for a minute. It’s on my mind right now because I just lost my junk on my family. You know the drill… you keep it all inside, try to eat your feelings with chocolate (or working out if you’re one of those awesome moms— I’m not!), but then eventually the dam breaks. Eventually your kid asks one too many times for something. Maybe your husband decided to take a break from cleaning and eat lunch at just the time when you were about to break and it happened. How dare he eat lunch now?? Just chomping on those noodles like he doesn’t have a care in the world!
Yeah… dramatic, I know, but it’s what happens. It’s like our bodies know when the big stuff is happening so we don’t break down then… it’s always the little stuff that breaks us.
For the past two days, Zane’s feeding tube has come out. When that happens, it’s a GEYSER of vomit protruding from his stomach like a water hose. But did that break me? Nope. I dug in and handled it. But my husband eating lunch at 1:20pm? That’s what broke me.
That and washing the clothes from both of the feeding tube incidents. If I hadn’t of just bought them this week I would have thrown them in the trash.
At any rate, I want to let you know that it’s ok. Sure, our kids see it, and there are definitely levels where it’s unhealthy. But a little breakdown every now and then isn’t going to ruin our kids lives.
Here’s the time where I tell you to take some time to do something you love. Get a pedicure! Go buy a new shirt! Take a shower and do your makeup– you’ll feel so refreshed!
But what if you don’t work that way? I don’t. I couldn’t care less about a pedicure. It’s not ‘me time.’ It’s stressful. I never know if I’m doing the right thing, whether I’m supposed to chat or fall asleep… and God be my guide when it comes to picking out a nail polish color. I have trouble deciding what to order at Taco Bell and now suddenly I have to pick out a color that I’m going to wear on my toes for the next 6 months?? Because, let’s face it– I’m not going to get another pedicure, so that polish is going to have to fall off.
I love doing things, creating things, organizing our finances, and planning. It’s so weird, but it’s what calms me. It lets me know that there is some sort of plan or order in this crazy life. Sure, my house smells like vomit, but at least the mortgage is paid!
So when my hubby told me to go take a shower and relax… instead I went to my office. I started editing the last session, and set out a plan for next weeks wedding. Once I get these things completed, I can start working on my next big venture (which isn’t really huge or exciting, but is kind of a secret because I’m trying not to overshare too much too quick).
Moms, take a deep breath. Figure out what works for you and relax that way. Forgive yourself if your form of relaxing isn’t the mainstream manicure and shopping trip. It’ll all be ok.